Q 1) One of our friends recently lost her boyfriend and my boyfriend was his best friend so he tried to be there for the girl. Now she is completely obsessed with him calling him late at night and always wanting to be with him. He’s trying to pull away because he’s getting a little freaked out about it. How do I get the picture across with out being hurtful or rude?
A 1) It is always difficult to deal with the loss of a loved one. One goes through a process of grieving which can even in the normal course take upto 2 years. However, the grief becomes pathological when it is excessive and begins to interfere with one’s life or with others. Perhaps she needs to see someone about it. You could try to have your boyfriend tell her that her calls at night are getting difficult for him to deal with. He can say “Please don’t call so late” and he can tell her that she should talk to someone professional about it. If she is expressing death wishes then it is even more important to inform her family members that you are worried about her and that she needs help.
Q 2) I’m a 21 year girl and I have been feeling depressed now for about 8 years since about the age of 13 though I’ve never gone to any doctor/psychologist about it. For the start of this year I felt I was getting a little better, but lately over the past month, I have been feeling incredibly down. I cry a lot, sometimes without explanation, I feel incredibly confused and frustrated and over the past couple of weeks I been feeling really angry for no obvious reason and also really alone and unwanted. On top of this I am finding it incredibly hard to stay asleep and wake up a lot during the night. Please I really would love any advice you could give me.
A2) What you need to understand is that depression, like Asthma or other diseases is an illness too. Many people try to deal with it on their own but if it interferes with one’s daily life, if it is like a heavy cloud that does not go away and prevents one from living life to the full, then it should be dealt with. There is no harm taking a light antidepressant after consulting someone and at the same time undergoing Cognitive behaviour therapy or Interpersonal therapy for this from a trained doctor. Decreased Sleep, lack of interest, sadness of mood all indicate depression.
Q 3) I am totally confused in life right now. I’m 25 (Indian) and I am living in a foreign country ( Dubai). I have been forcefully sent here because of family reasons. I absolutely don’t like it here. I feel like crying every two days and at times I cry at my work place. Can u please guide me? Do you think going back to my home country will help? Do u think its best I should go back home.
A3) It depends why you have been sent here. If the family needs you here for a reason or something else? A change of place can lead to an adjustment problem but it depends how you are looking at it. Are you feeling that you are here perforce and that is why you do not like it here? Everything has it’s positive side and maybe you need to make the best of your stay here- it depends how you are keeping yourself occupied. I don’t know your options and the reason why you, a 25 year old , are here perforce. Sometimes one needs some time to adjust to a new place- you need to identify some people there that you can talk to, maybe someone who is from India as well and some physical exercise is a must.
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